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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24823294">Daughter of unconscious fate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/allredpen/pseuds/allredpen'>allredpen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Watcher Entertainment RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anal Sex, Daddy Kink, Established Relationship, Light Feminization, Light impregnation kink, M/M, No actual mpreg</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:33:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24823294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/allredpen/pseuds/allredpen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“You can call me Daddy,” Ryan had said. “When you make me a daddy.”</p>
<p>- </p>
<p>Ryan wants a baby, Shane wants something else.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ryan Bergara/Shane Madej</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>194</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Daddy Month</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Daughter of unconscious fate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm avoiding a monstrous WIP, so I wrote this tiny little guy for the <a href="https://skepticbeliever-bookclub.tumblr.com/">Skeptic Believer Book Club's</a> Daddy Month. Grateful every day for those horny weirdos. </p>
<p>Title is from On the Sea by Beach House</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You can call me Daddy,” Ryan had said. “When you <em>make</em> me a daddy.” </p>
<p>Which—okay, fair enough, Shane thought. This was a fair compromise—given Ryan had been impenetrable in the face of Shane’s needling on the matter until now—and a compromise Shane could work with. See, half of the time Shane was half joking about it, the daddy thing, but the rest of the time, when Ryan topped him, Shane had to practically gag himself to stop the word spilling out of his mouth. </p>
<p>And the kid thing, well—it wasn’t as if Ryan’s was an unexpected request; they’d tossed the idea back and forth, spurred on by the sudden cropping-up of infants in their friendship group. </p>
<p>“You look at that fucken’ baby and tell me you don’t want one,” Ryan once said, thrusting a phone into Shane’s face. On it, a cherubic little smile and a shock of black hair, clad in a frankly obnoxious set of miniature overalls. Someone had even put the poor creature atop a hay bail. </p>
<p>“I might agree just so we can dress it right,” Shane had replied. “Someone needs to neutralize all that twee bullshit.” </p>
<p>Ryan rolled his eyes, but when he slumped back onto the couch there was a smug little smile on his face. </p>
<p>“That’s not a no,” Ryan said under his breath. </p>
<p>And so it continued every time they drove home from a baby shower, <em>‘gender reveal’</em> (Gag-worthy, but that one was Ryan’s cousin, so they were obliged), or first birthday. </p>
<p>“You looked really good like that,” Ryan said, on this latest occasion (Katie Leblanc’s second baby shower in two years, because why not, with their insurance plan?)</p>
<p>“Like what?”</p>
<p>“With a baby on your knee. You’re a natural. Babies like your weird face.”</p>
<p>Shane crossed his arms over his chest and tucked his legs up.</p>
<p>“It’s not a weird face,” he countered defensively. “It’s a <em>warm</em> and <em>friendly</em> face, that’s why babies like me. That’s what your mom told me.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, well, my mom wants a grand kid.” Ryan glanced across at him. “And I want a kid.”</p>
<p>Shane huffed. “Sorry about your biological imperative, Ryan, but my body doesn’t do that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m aware,” Ryan scoffed. “There are other options. Obviously.”</p>
<p>They’d had this part of the conversation about 600 times; surrogacy, adoption, what was responsible, who could they trust, what could they afford. Shane had caught Ryan watching <em>Juno</em> twice in the last year. It was actually bordering on pathetic. </p>
<p>“I’m not saying no,” Shane said after a moment. “You know I’m not saying no, I just have—there’s a lot to consider.” </p>
<p>Ryan hummed, suddenly all casual, as if Shane didn’t know him. As if Shane couldn’t see the way his eyes glistened a little. As if Shane couldn’t feel how clammy his palm was when he reached across to wrap it around Shane’s. </p>
<p>“It’s not a no,” he repeated under his breath. </p>
<p>That night, Ryan fucked him with a mania he usually reserved for anniversaries and birthdays. He dragged Shane bodily to the end of the bed and hauled him onto his knees. He pressed a hand into the nape of Shane’s neck, forced Shane’s back into a sharp arch, just how Shane liked. When he fished his cock out of his pants and eased it into Shane, he did so without hesitation. When he set one leg on the bed and drilled into Shane, and when he grabbed a fistful of Shane’s hair, it was with a desperation that seemed to seep into Shane from every point of contact. </p>
<p>Ryan was driving Shane out of his mind, but he wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t see this for what it was, and when Ryan wrapped an arm around Shane’s chest and pulled him up into a kneel, so his chest was pressed firmly into Shane’s back, Shane could hear the way Ryan was almost sobbing with the effort and the intensity. Shane <em>loved</em> him like this, loved the way he transformed sometimes, loved to feel that famous intensity focused on Shane, on making Shane come. As always, it set Shane off babbling before he could stop himself. </p>
<p>“Are you gonna come in me, Ry?” He huffed. “Come on, come inside me.”</p>
<p>Ryan grunted, sped up, pulled Shane in so tight that it hurt where his bicep flexed against Shane’s pec. Ryan was almost fully dressed, and Shane could feel the buttons on his shirt pressing bruises into his spine. </p>
<p>“You wish—” Shane hesitated, then played to a hunch. “You wish you were knocking me up right now, babe?” </p>
<p>Ryan’s answering gasp would have been enough, but his stuttering thrusts sealed it. Whoomp, there it is. </p>
<p>“Please- let me do that for you—” It was becoming hard for Shane to string a sentence together now, harder still when Ryan dropped the hand bracing him down to tug at Shane’s dick. </p>
<p>“Come inside me, <em>please</em>. ” </p>
<p>Ryan was close, of course, and Shane was surprised to find he was right there, too. So far into it, he hadn’t even noticed that he was already in dangerous waters. </p>
<p>“Come inside me, Ry.” Shane’s voice was barely a rasp now, as Ryan pressed his chest back to the mattress and doubled down. “Come- come inside me-I wanna make you a daddy—Ah!”</p>
<p>Even as it left his mouth, Shane felt the word expand to fill the room, felt it electrify them both. Ryan cried out just once and faltered. He came right after Shane, who left himself all over their nice sheets. </p>
<p>Shane was still waiting for the mortification to hit while Ryan cleaned them up. </p>
<p>“Strip the sheets, or live with it?” Ryan asked, voice hoarse. </p>
<p>“Live with it,” Shane replied, equally hoarse. He flipped over and crawled under the sheets in his altogether, dampness and all. </p>
<p>Ryan, however, undressed, folded his clothes with <em>utterly </em>uncharacteristic fastidiousness, and pulled on pajama pants before slipping under the sheets. </p>
<p>Shane met him, turning to fling and arm and a leg over him, pressed a kiss to his cheek, his neck. </p>
<p>“Okay?” Shane murmured the question into Ryan’s jaw. </p>
<p>“You know I don’t care about that, right?” Ryan said, in lieu of a reply. </p>
<p>Right, so he was stewing over something, then. </p>
<p>“Care about—?”</p>
<p>“I don’t secretly want to be married to a woman.”</p>
<p>Shane pulled back at that to look Ryan in the eye. </p>
<p>“I… I didn’t think—” </p>
<p>“I want a kid, but I would give up a hundred babies for you.”</p>
<p>“Well now I know why you never got married before, a hundred babies is too much to expect from one woman, Ryan.” </p>
<p>“Shut up,” Ryan said, clapping a hand over Shane’s mouth. “I’m trying to tell you that if you <em>never</em> want a kid, that’s okay. I’m trying to tell you that I’m not yearning for some chick to impregnate.”</p>
<p>Shane was touched, but— </p>
<p>“You did come pretty hard when I asked you to knock me up,” Shane pointed out, when Ryan released his mouth. </p>
<p>“Yeah, well.” Ryan flushed. “Maybe the <em>Daddy</em> thing was less humiliating than I was expecting.”</p>
<p>“What did I tell you?” Shane put his arms behind his head, smug. “You’re a man of taste, Bergara.”</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>In the end, it was a year of paperwork, and research, and countless discussions with their friends; all fruitless until suddenly it wasn’t. The opportunity rather fell in their laps one day, in the form of a teenage friend of the Lim family. Highly religious, way too young to keep a baby, blessedly open to the concept of same-sex parents. Steven had pulled them both aside when the girl was already five-and-a-half months pregnant. He pressed a name and phone number into Shane’s palm. </p>
<p>“I can’t believe it,” Shane said on the way home. “I can’t believe you actually managed to <em>The Secret</em> us a baby by watching <em>Juno.</em>”</p>
<p>Ryan snorted. “That’s ridiculous; obviously I did it through daily journaling.”</p>
<p>Shane hadn’t dared hope they would get lucky like this, and even after meeting the mother in the presence of her parents and a priest, all smiles. Even after their lawyer—or rather, the lawyer they’d headhunted from under Katie—walked out of their house with reams of signed paperwork. Even as they sat, clutching each other, in the waiting room of the hospital. </p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Heidi Bergara-Madej was born in June with a squishy little button nose and a full head of black hair. Shane spent three straight nights, cross-legged on the floor next to her crib, listening to her breathing, heart thundering whenever it changed. He’d spent a week in May painting her room in sky- and navy-blues, peppered with constellations, which he stared at unseeing now. At some point, on the third night, Ryan coaxed him back to bed, and he slept like the dead for four hours while Ryan got up for her feedings. </p>
<p>They were exhausted all the time, too tired to fuck, and the most Shane managed for a full two months was the world’s most lackluster hand-job, which Ryan cried gratefully through. </p>
<p>They were a wreck, they had dark bags, they had four baskets of dirty laundry, Heidi sometimes screamed for hours and Shane was <em>destroyed </em>with love for her. </p>
<p>At six months, Sherry Madej—a saint walking the earth—took Heidi away for the weekend with a wink that had Ryan flushing red and Shane crying with laughter. They spent Saturday sleeping, and on Sunday Ryan called Sherry and cried at the sound of Heidi’s babbling. </p>
<p>“I miss her,” He sniffed. Shane was going to remind Ryan that she’d pooped so much on Friday night that it had escaped the diaper and coated her chubby little legs, which she then kicked about, giggling like a tiny maniac, but frankly Shane missed her too. They watched Jurassic Park, and held each other, and missed Heidi, and forgot they were supposed to be having sex. </p>
<p>They would, Shane supposed, eventually get around to that brilliant, earth-rending sex they used to have. Maybe when they weren’t as busy raising this incredible, beautiful hell-child they’d long yearned for. Perhaps when she went to preschool, where it would be some other adult’s responsibility to wrangle her for a few hours. They <em>would </em>get back to it, though. After all, Ryan had made Shane a promise, and Shane intended to collect. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Come hang out on <a href="https://tumblr.com/blog/allredpen/">tumblr</a> if ya like.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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